i saw your melon head, the two scars on your scalp.
i saw your hands, not holding mine. I so wished so.
I felt your arms
i drowned in your eyes. Yes, drowned
swallowed your tears filling up my lungs and I coughed up, not your love
but my heart, it no longer needed me
gave up on me when I did you
Yes, I drowned in your eyes.
my body heavier as your anguish shoved me further, your anger kicking me downwards, your pain being my anchor.
I didn’t scream and no, no I won’t.
I don’t get to touch you
so if your pain is my only connection to anything related to your being then my lungs are yours to fill, open my mouth and feed it to me and I will swallow. what evers left of you I will take in.
your finger tips. your finger tips pressed around my waist. your smile
your outrageous laugh.
your smelly feet
your voice when you talk to me
your voice when you don’t
feed me your sorrow and I will swallow