She told me everything will be okay after this
new skin
new person
me
she told me I will know hurt no longer
but you fucking liar dont preach the hurt
they will end up believing
you witch
I believed
and now
I hurt
I got my first panic attack the first time in a long time
everything white, what ever my hand touched it hurt.
my heart hid but its beating told me where it was
I screamed like I was run over by a bus
I dont think you know that magnitude of scream
I screamed like I was awake while my limbs were being sawed
like I was being raped again
I screamed as loud as my big house filled air
My brothers came running upstairs, they whispered my name
once
twice
but they didn’t knock the door
I couldn’t move
God forbid I did
my skin would touch something and I’m off to another panic attack
you witch
Do not preach the hurt, soon we will believe
and we
are the ones
who end up
disappointed