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2. Love and sanity

This is the second part of the series I’m making: to read the first part read Introduction: Story of Loss.  

I don’t care if you believe 

I don’t if you deny 

I’ll state whatever my heart desires 

until my tongue goes benign  

The first time we met
there was a spark that turned to fire
later that night, both of us exposed, full of sweat
broke his bed but after that, we were set

we were always ablaze either with anger or lust
but that’s how we were and that was that
I remember he pushed me away from a bus
he got hurt but it didn’t matter to him at first
it mattered if I was alright

breakfast on the bed was always a must
sex before he left and when he got back also was
I have adored him and he worshiped me
He said once that angels blew dust
on us both and that’s how we were 

and that was that
he also said
What could I say?
What could I do?
but offer this heart,
completely to you?

And that’s how we were are,
I’m sorry, that’s how we were.

and that was that 

I’m not sure if I call it love
but it sure was addicting
As I tear up right now I’ll tell you this
I have loved him harder than I loved my own kids
I have loved him enough it could redefine the word love
Every day after he went to work, I’d be on my knees praising the God of love
and praying to the God of death
that no matter the situation, God forbid, that he strikes me first
before he ever considers him

So as I sit in front of you, my husband not near me, my children all dead, I will tell you that I’d rather they all live instead for I always was dead 

The next part is ready to be read Loss and insanity 

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