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pissed

Illustration created by Hakim El Haj 

 

I’m always stuck on replay

repeating my words over and over

Do I have to say this again?

Do not tell me to get over it

I will grief my own life my own damned way

Do not tell me to stop relying on meds or people

My grief outweighs what you say

He says I gotta face it and conquer it

but baby my boogey man ain’t got no face

Just claws, overdue semen and a laughter of different shades

Own up to it and forgive them

again,

fuck that.

There is no forgiveness for a mother that choked her children

there is no forgiveness for a man that came in me as I screamed times a trillion

There is no forgiveness for a father that saw it all, did nothing and then just left the building

There is no forgiveness for the vile for I was a child with purity stolen and love never taught and fear embedded and hidden

I will curse them until God finally strikes them down

It’s over when I say it is

Its been over for me

but not yet satisfied to see

the ruiners of my birth have fun and flea

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