What are you doing?
I get you want to sulk but for how long?
Your mistakes are not for you to dwell on them but for you to learn. You did something regretful. THAT’S GREAT! The bigger the mistake the more you will learn from it! Yes, well, maybe you lost a few loved ones because of it. Or perhaps the mistakes are irreparable. But nothing will come out of it if it rests on your spine invariably. You unquestionably do not deserve to wreck yourself for that.
Don’t victimize yourself too often either. I always say you can only be a victim to the same thing once. Other than that you should not keep doing it for far too long. It will thrust you down into something you won’t desire to be. If God forbid, something unfortunate has occurred to you make it your mission to protect everyone else from it.
Do not ever let anything put you in a position where you feel less human for you are the most you can ever be. The most unique. The most divine. Once you finally see that for yourself I would bet that that face of yours will know nothing but joy.
Up you go.