I call myself the Don around here. I was brought from my home zoo in Texas to Cincinnati for… How do the humans call it? Breeding? To have sex with other Gorillas. Kind of them to care for my sexual needs, actually. I mean I miss home but the people in Cincinnati seemed to respect me more. Considering i’m the one that fucks.

You know, I have a confession to make. I see kids eating those coloured beans-well-Look. I usually think everything humans eat is so weird but those jelly beans make me feel some typa way.

So when this little kid fell in my territory with a bag of jelly beans falling from a hole from his weird cloth things homosapiens wear i got excited! I’ll finally eat those randomly coloured minuscule things! The kid tried running away but bruh. There aint a chance I’m letting him go. I dragged the little baby of course. Reaching my arm towards them mystical things. As I come close to the beans I hear an awful voice and then a sharp pain on my chest. It hurts so much. What is this? I see light, to what? outterspace? I just wanted damn jellybeans.












? I just wanted damn jelly beans.


2 Replies to “Harambe”

  1. huzzyboy says:

    RIP Harambe

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