I think of her every day.
The way she eats salad. A sloth can eat faster.
The way her hands are so small it felt like a toddler held my hand. so soft yet firm
Her happiness so wild, acute, dangerous, divine. You could say the exact same about her sadness. Though you never forget the days she sheds her tears.
She opened up my brain, engulfed all my thoughts and pain and creativity. She swallowed it whole. Deliciously. She then threw up this whole scheme of what she called my future. She literally held my hand and kissed it with eyes so big. she literally built the pavement to my home.
brick by brick.
I never knew how to hold anyone until i met her. She taught me love. I swear she taught me patience. She taught me silence can do so much. She wiped my tears more than anyone has. Those rivers of pain. she threw flower petals in them and danced and howled at the night. the beauty, the glory of my river.
I never could love anyone like her and I suppose I never will. But i forgot to thank her.
I’m home thanks to you. You guided the way. I thank you for that. Princess. We had our times together. The best time of my life. I’ll never hate you for that. I love you. I always did. I always will.